Continued from here.

In my last blog entry, I shared a story about how I extended grace to a woman who works for a Christian organization who made a mistake. The reason I extended grace was not because she deserved it – she didn’t. And I didn’t do it because her mistake wasn’t costly – it caused inconvenience for the people in my organization. I extended her grace because of the grace that God has extended to me.

In contrast, I had a situation where a Christian woman did not extend grace to me when, due to a miscommunication, she believed she had been wronged. Even though I don’t think I did anything wrong in this particular situation, I nevertheless apologized to her, but even my apology did not placate her. I spent the next few weeks praying blessings over her to help me avoid sowing seeds of bitterness over this unpleasant experience. As I chose to forgive this woman for the way she treated me as well as others, God enlightened me to a truth I otherwise would have missed: This woman likely did not extend me grace because she, herself, has received little grace.

Of course, as a Christian, she has, in fact, been extended an enormous amount of grace through Jesus’ sacrifice for her, as is true for all of us. However, Jesus extending us grace is only half of the equation: we must also receive the grace that he extends to us. Until we do, we will continue to live as if grace has been withheld, even though that really isn’t the case. How heartbreaking it must be for God to have extended grace at such a high cost but have children who never receive that grace!

Giving a gift does not guarantee that the gift will be received. God offers the free gift of grace to all, but we must choose to believe Him and receive the gift before it will do us any good. How heartbreaking that so many people never do receive His gift of grace, even many who represent themselves as being Christians! And until we receive God’s generous gift of grace ourselves, we are unable to pay it forward.

To be continued…

[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace holding a large stack of presents. Courtesy Bitmoji.]

Continued from here.

In my last blog entry, I shared the story of my failure to read a 250-page book at age 8 in the allotted time. I was not met with grace in that situation, but I shared what the outcome might have been if that’s how my story had ended. I wouldn’t have deserved a positive outcome. After all, I didn’t complete the assignment within the time I had been allotted. If I had, then no grace would have been needed. I knew I had failed, and there was nothing I could do about it as the clock kept moving toward the deadline I could no longer meet. And yet what a huge difference it would have made in my life had I received grace instead of punishment … not because I deserved it but because it’s what I needed.

I still need grace – lots and lots of grace – but we live in a world that frequently fails to extend grace. Sadly, I even see this in Christian circles: someone makes a mistake and apologizes, but the other Christian fails to extend grace. I recently had the experience of a Christian making a mistake, and I reacted by extending grace. Her over-the-top level of gratitude communicated volumes: she was not used to receiving grace when making a mistake in her line of work, even though she works for a Christian organization and knew that I was representing one as well. How sad for grace being extended from one Christian to another to be viewed as an anomaly!

To be clear, this woman did not deserve grace. Her mistake caused an inconvenience to the people in my Christian organization, and we had to make adjustments to compensate for her mistake. I didn’t extend her grace because she deserved it. I did it because God has extended grace to me. This woman did not intend to make the mistake and was clearly upset with herself for doing so. She took responsibility and apologized for her mistake. However, none of this “earned” her grace. Grace is always a gift that is extended to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

To be continued…

[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace being showered with money under the words, “Pay Day.” Courtesy Bitmoji.]

I’ve been thinking a lot about grace lately … probably because I’m in such need of it! Grace is one of those words that I have only recently grown to understand the meaning of. I grew up hearing the song Amazing Grace, but I didn’t really get it.

I think my problem is, at least in part, that I was shown so little grace throughout much of my life. Always fearing making any sort of mistake, I tried so hard to be “perfect,” which, of course, is not possible in this mortal body. As an abused child, my abusers would often set me up to “fail” and then abuse me as purported “discipline,” so I learned at a young age that it wasn’t OK to make mistakes.

One particular experience has stuck with me all these years. When I was in third grade (only 8 years old!), I begged the teacher to let me read a real novel for a book report. Sure enough, reading a book with over 200 pages at age 8 in the short period of time allotted proved to be too much for my little brain. By the night before the book report was due, I still had 50 more pages left to read, and my little brain couldn’t handle it. Instead of receiving grace, I received punishment and shame, with my abusers using my “failure” to complete my assignment as an excuse to inflict more abuse, telling me it was all my fault.

To this day, playing “beat the clock against” a deadline triggers my post-traumatic stress because of that experience, so I always work ahead and strive to complete tasks early. I know I cannot stay focused once the post-traumatic stress kicks in. What I learned from that experience is that it doesn’t matter whether I have completed five times as much work as everyone else. If I do not complete the task given me perfectly, I’m going to suffer.

I have prayed over what grace might have looked like in this situation. What if my parents had said, “I’m so proud of you for reading 200 page at age eight. Let’s cuddle together, and I’ll read you the rest of the book?” What if the focus was not on what I didn’t do (finish reading 50 more pages) and instead celebrated what I had done (reading far more than is typically expected of an eight-year-old child)? Yes, I missed the deadline. No, I didn’t do the assignment perfectly. But what if I was given the message that I was loved whether or not I completed the assignment perfectly? That’s grace.

To be continued…

[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace smiling under the word, “Beautiful.” Courtesy Bitmoji.]