Pleasing God

August 31, 2017

Leading Rather than Following People

yes_maamContinued from here.

God does not call us to pander to people to try to get them to like and accept us. Instead, He calls us lead others to God and be examples of godly living. Jesus’ life was an example of how we should live, and he never pandered to anyone. Instead, he lived a life that glorified God. Paul said,

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” ~ 1 Cor. 11:1

This should be our goal as well. We should do as Jesus did in seeking God’s approval rather than people’s. As we do this, we become an example to others. As they follow our example, they transform into Christ’s image, leading more godly lives and bringing more glory to God.

You cannot lead and follow people at the same time. If you follow God, you will lead other people to follow God as well. If you follow the World through people pleasing, you will lead people away from God because you cannot glorify God when your priority is pleasing people.

Only God sees people clearly. When we treat others as God tells us to treat them, He is invited to move in their lives. However, when we shift our focus to people pleasing, we live our lives through distorted lenses. People seeking anything other than God are focused on the cravings of their sinful nature. They want others to do things that make them feel comfortable – their priorities are focused on themselves, not on God. That’s why people pleasing does not work: As the sinful nature shifts what it wants in the moment, the actions that the person defines as “acceptable” also shift. Only God can meet someone’s needs, and what satisfies is quite different than what our sinful nature craves.

If you really want to please people in a positive way, lead them to Christ! He is the only one with the power to satisfy their needs, and he does it in a very different way than they expect. As you find fulfillment and acceptance in your relationship with God, you become a model of what truly satisfies. You can then lead others to the source of true satisfaction.

[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace dressed in fatigues, standing in a tank, and saluting to the words, “Yes, Ma’am.” Courtesy Bitmoji.]

August 30, 2017

People Pleasing for Acceptance

okayContinued from here.

The reason I was such a big people pleaser was that I deeply needed to feel like I belonged – like there was a place for me. Considering my life experiences, which included years of severe child abuse, losing my father to unexpected death as a teenager, being infertile, and parenting a special needs child, I don’t exactly “fit in” with most social groups. I’m different from most people, and being different made me feel excluded. I thought that people pleasing would lead me to feeling accepted and loved … that it would “buy” me a place at the table.

What I have grown to realize – and this was tough for me to accept about myself – is that people pleasing is manipulative. Rather than be myself, I changed my behavior to manipulate other people into liking and accepting me. I thought I was such a martyr for “being nice” to people, but my “niceness” came with a price – I expected acceptance in return. When that did not happen, I felt shame and anger.

Today, I truly do not give a hoot if people accept me or not. Of course, I prefer to be liked, but I’m OK if I am not. This is because I no longer value people’s opinions – I only value God’s. Because I know God fully accepts me exactly as I am, whether or not a person accepts me is irrelevant. If people do, that’s icing on the cake, but I still have the cake even when they don’t.

God loves me with an everlasting love. There is nothing I can ever do to lose that love. No matter what I lose, I will never lose God’s love. He always accepts me and is always with me, so I always have a place at His table. Even if nobody on the face of the earth loves, accepts, or approves of me, I always have God’s love, acceptance, and approval (through Jesus). Thus, my needs are always met, regardless of whether or not the people in my life accept me. Ironically, now that I do not care whether people accept me or not, I’m accepted—and even respected!—in most circles.

Continued here.

[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace bending her head down, looking sad, and saying, “Okay.” Courtesy Bitmoji.]

August 29, 2017

Jesus was Not a “People Pleaser”

if_you_say_soContinued from here.

Considering the goal of every Christian should be transforming into Christ’s image, we should look to Jesus as our role model. Jesus did not give a hoot about pleasing people. Instead of trying to please the Pharisees, he blatantly disregarded their manmade rules to please God instead.

As an example, according to manmade rules, Jesus had no business going to Samaria. He had no business talking to a Samaritan woman, which even surprised his disciples! He certainly had no business drinking out of the same bucket as a Samaritan women, which was the only way for her to share a drink with him since he had nothing to draw water from the well with. And imagine the level of displeasure that people had with Jesus when he chose to spend the night in Samaria!

And yet, through Jesus breaking all of those manmade rules, not only did the Samaritan woman receive life, but also many other Samaritans from the town. Jesus did not give a hoot about keeping up appearances and following manmade rules. He only cared about God’s opinion, and God loved the Samaritans, regardless of what His own people thought about this. Jesus prioritized God’s opinion over man’s opinion, and numerous people from the “wrong side of the tracks” entered into a relationship with God.

This is how we need to live our lives by following Jesus’ example. People’s priorities are selfish by nature. They want to be with the “in crowd,” which, by definition, means they exclude other people from their group. As one person worded it to me, “I want to be part of a group that removes the riffraff. I just hope I’m not the riffraff.”

God loves the riffraff, and Jesus died an excruciating death to reconcile the riffraff to God. So we, as Christians, have no business excluding anyone from our groups. God calls us to value others above ourselves, and that mean all others, including the riffraff and Samaritans in our society.

Continued here.

[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace shrugging under the words, “If you say so…” Courtesy Bitmoji.]

August 28, 2017

The Folly of “People Pleasing”

shameI used to be the world’s biggest doormat. Seriously! I was the world’s biggest people pleaser. It mattered to me sooo much that everyone like me, and I felt shame if someone didn’t.

I wound up feeling shame a lot. I tried to please people by wearing the right clothes. Inevitably, the outfit I spent a lot of money on went out of style. SHAME! A friend would ask my opinion and not like my answer. SHAME! I would do something to please one person, but that action displeased another person. SHAME! I would do something I didn’t want to do specifically to please someone, but by the time I did it, the person changed her mind, so I wound up displeasing her anyhow. SHAME!

Nowhere in the Bible are we told to please people. In fact, we are told just the opposite:

You adulteresses [disloyal sinners—flirting with the world and breaking your vow to God]! Do you not know that being the world’s friend [that is, loving the things of the world] is being God’s enemy? So whoever chooses to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. ~ James 4:4

It’s not our job to try to please people. Our focus should always be on pleasing God:

Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.”

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ~ James 4:5-7

God’s ways are higher than man’s ways. In other words, they are different. Thus, we have a choice to make: Will we live our lives seeking to please people? Or seeking to please God? We cannot do both.

Ironically, since I stopped trying to please people and have only sought to please God, I have found favor with most people I interact with. The ones who take issue with me tend to be those who are self-absorbed and angry because I refuse to bend to their will. However, because pleasing God, by nature, involves humbling myself and valuing others above myself, I generally find much more favor with people without trying.

Continued here.

[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace frowning over the word, “Shame.” Courtesy Bitmoji.]