Continued from here.
I am a planner by nature. I like to plan out where I am going before taking the first step so I know exactly what to expect. Living as God’s servant throws all that out the window, which has been extremely difficult in my flesh. My flesh does not want a lamp showing me only the next step: I want the complete directions from beginning to end so I know exactly where I am going and when I can expect to arrive.
In my flesh, I also want a say in what my assignment is. I know what my strengths are, and I want to work in a job and participate in activities in which my strengths are assets. I don’t want to be vulnerable or dependent upon anyone. I want to know that I can do something on my own without any help from anyone.
To follow God, I have had to leave all agendas at the foot of the cross and follow His path, which He illuminates only one step at a time. I have no idea where I am going, so I cannot plan ahead to make the journey easier. When people ask where I see myself in five years, I have no answer because God doesn’t tell me that far in advance. He only lets me know where He wants me today, and the lack of knowing drives my flesh absolutely batty.
However, this aspect of my life has become very simple because I put no energy into planning where I’m going. I have learned to trust that God has a purpose and plan that is good, that He will provide what I need, and that He will fulfill the desires of my heart because I delight in God. Interestingly, the things God brings into my heart are far from what I would have planned for myself.
For example, I recently started a job with a prison ministry that I am passionate and excited about. Anyone who has known me since 2016 or earlier can tell you that neither the word prison nor ministry has been on my radar. If you had asked me a year ago where I thought God was leading me, I can assure you that neither word would have made my list, much less in combination with each other. And yet, God has given me a passion for where He has led me that could only have come from Him. While my flesh balks about not knowing what’s coming, God’s plans are exceedingly good.
[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace holding up a map and asking, “Where?” Courtesy Bitmoji.]