Continued from here.
The quote from Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces, that I shared in my last blog entry is a hard truth, but it’s one that will transform your life once you embrace it. We want happiness, which comes from God giving us what we want. However, God wants to give us joy, which is not dependent upon our circumstance. You can experience joy even in the midst of devastating circumstances if you will believe that God has provided you with a well of joy and open your eyes to see it. I know because I have experienced it.
Although my childhood was filled with ongoing, severe childhood abuse, my most painful memory is spending five nights in the hospital with my then-15-year-old son as he recovered from major back surgery. I had three months to prepare for this emotionally-draining experience and had numerous people praying us through the experience. I felt every prayer.
In the midst of watching my son suffer as I muddled my way through trying to support him on limited sleep and precious little alone time with God, I experienced joy. While there was nothing enjoyable in the experience, God provided me with wells of joy to get me through the most painful week of my life. I found joy in the Ronald McDonald room on the floor … in the cards and visits from family and friends … in the beauty of sitting in the shade on a bench surrounded by gorgeous flowers. I would not choose to relive that experience, but I certainly experienced much joy during a season of sorrow and pain. I found joy in the midst of the pain because I found God there. Where we find God, we have access to joy, and God is always … ALWAYS … with us.
[Graphic: Photograph of garden in the hospital. Courtesy Grace Daniels. ]
Continued from here.
I shared earlier this week that my answer to how close I feel to God at any given moment is a 10 (with 10 being the closest I have ever felt), not because I FEEL His presence all the time but because I know the REALITY is that He is always close to me, no matter how I am feeling. I no longer allow my feelings to drive my reactions. I have learned that my feelings are a byproduct of how I am thinking. If I want to change how I feel, then I need to change how I think.
The World says that “seeing is believing,” but the message of the Bible is that believing is seeing. Hagar provided a great example of this in Gen. 21:14-19:
[Hagar] went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba. When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, ‘I cannot watch the boy die.’ And as she sat there, she began to sob. God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, ‘What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.’ Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.”
God did not have angels rapidly digging a well while speaking with her. Hagar was so distressed and driven by her feelings that she didn’t see the well that was nearby. The reality is that there’s always a well nearby because God is always nearby, but we often don’t see the well because we don’t believe it’s there.
In her book One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces, Ann Voskamp words it this way:
Whenever I am blind to joy’s well, isn’t it because I don’t believe in God’s care? That God cares enough about me to always offer me joy’s water, wherever I am, regardless of circumstance. But if I don’t believe God cares, if I don’t want or seek the joy He definitely offers somewhere in this moment—I don’t want God. In His presence is fullness of joy. He is in this moment. The well is always here. God is always here—precisely because he does care…You have to want to see the well before you can drink from it. You have to want to see joy, God in the moment.”
How humbling to realize that when we don’t sense God’s presence in our circumstances, it’s because we are the ones pushing God away.
To be continued…
[Graphic: Cover of One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces. Courtesy Amazon.]