Continued from here.
One of the biggest lies people tell themselves is that they can exercise self-control through sheer willpower. Anyone who has ever blown a diet knows how useless willpower is when facing down the object of their temptation. Been there, done that more times than I can count.
For decades, I wrestled with binge eating disorder, and no amount of willpower, shame, or guilt was strong enough to overcome the lure of overindulging in food to “stuff down” my emotional pain. If it were possible to overcome an eating disorder by sheer force of will, I would have done it because I put my heart and soul into the fight, but I repeatedly lost. I did not experience victory over the eating disorder until God changed me, and He did this by changing how I thought. As I grew to recognize that my God was bigger than my eating disorder, the seed of self-control that God planted in me when I became a Christian took root and began to grow. Today, fasting is not difficult for me whereas it was once one of the most difficult things I was asked to do, such as fasting overnight before a morning doctor’s appointment.
One reason the binge eating disorder controlled me was that I fixed my gaze upon my problem rather than upon my God. I thought about food all the time, and I saw food as a refuge – as an idol that would provide me with temporary relief from my emotional pain. This was idolatry because I repeatedly turned to food to meet a need that only God could meet in me. For a long season, God allowed me to experience repeated disappointments so I could recognize the folly of seeking comfort through food. Before he could break me free from the eating disorder, He had to awaken me from the self-delusion that I was addicted to bingeing on food.
One of my greatest struggles was trying to slay my binge-eating dragon once I became mindful of the power the eating disorder wielded over me. I did not appreciate that my thoughts were fueling my bondage. If you want to develop the fruit of self-control, you must change your thoughts to align them with God’s thoughts.
To be continued…
[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace’s legs sticking out from under the words, “I’m Weak.” Courtesy Bitmoji.]