How Life Outside the Hell Well Affects Relationships

broken_heartContinued from here.

I have found that living outside the hell well can present challenges in my relationships with other people. Many (but certainly not all) women are looking for friends who are willing to take turns encouraging one another in their respective hell wells. And if I don’t need the encouragement, that simply means that it should free me up to be their cheerleader in their hell well all the more, which is something I am unwilling to do. I spent enough decades living in hell wells, and I am not going to encourage someone else to keep on digging.

As a result, many women do not want to spend time with me. Some even go so far as to accuse me of “judging” them, simply because I encourage them to stop digging and start inviting the dirt in. They accuse me of viewing them as “bad people” when what I am actually feeing is deep compassion for them. I know how painful it is to live in a hell well and how exhausting it is to keep digging. I would not wish that life on my worst enemy!

Because I have experienced God’s deliverance from my very deep hell well, I know it is possible for others as well, and I want this for them. I want them to encounter the Living God in their hell wells, stop digging, and start inviting the dirt in so they can climb out as I did. But to do this, they must do what God says to do, and most are unwilling to do so, just as I was unwilling for decades. This breaks my heart for them because I know the pain that their choices are bringing into their lives.

And yet, I cannot choose life for them. God gives each of us a choice: life (receive the dirt) or death (keep on digging). He tells us to choose life but respects our right to continue digging if that is what we desire. What breaks my heart the most is to hear people accusing God of creating the mess in their lives when He has told them all along how to get out of the hell well. If people would simply do what God says to do, their hell wells would fill, and they could climb out.

To be continued…

[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace peeking out of a broken heart that is crying. Courtesy Bitmoji.]