Continued from here.
In my flesh, I expected the world to extend me lots of grace, and I would become offended when that did not happen. From my perspective, I had suffered greatly from years of child abuse, so was it really asking too much for people to extend me grace when I messed up?
However, in my flesh, I did not extend the same courtesy. After all, that person hasn’t been where I have, so he/she should have things together. Also, while I gave myself all sorts of excuses for bad behavior (it was “justified” because I was simply a victim of my emotions), I judged other people’s behavior from the outside, never considering that they, too, were being driven by their own emotions resulting from their own life experiences that I knew nothing about. It was easy in my flesh to be the victim, where whatever I did had an excuse (after all, I was abused as a child) while any poor behavior from anyone else was inexcusable. In my flesh, it was easy to judge others.
Learning to choose to extend grace was extremely difficult for me. First, God called me to do it in my actions, such as refraining from saying something negative while still thinking it. Later, He led me to extend grace even in my thoughts by praying for the other person rather than thinking negative thoughts about him or her. I had to stop thinking about other people in terms of how their actions affect me but, instead, see them through God’s eyes – as beloved children of God in need of grace and His tender loving care.
Learning to view people through God’s eyes has made my life so much easier! People are drawn to me because I do not judge them. They see compassion in my eyes rather than judgment, which is exactly what people need when they are hurting. That compassion points them to God, especially in situations in which they repeatedly receive grace. Although my flesh balks at extending grace, my spirit soars.
The more annoying someone’s behavior, the more they need God. I pray that God will reveal the height, depth, width, and breadth of His love for them. After all, if they truly understood how deeply God loves them, they would not behave selfishly. That’s how God changed me – not that I do it perfectly, but I have laid down my gavel and stopped judging others, choosing to see them as beloved children of God.
[Graphic: Cartoon of smiling, holding out her hand, and saying, “No worries.” Courtesy Bitmoji.]