Continued from here.
When I was an immature Christian, I believed I was in control over my life. I had an infinite number of choices to make: my career, my friends, how to spend my time, etc. As my relationship with God has deepened, I have only one choice: to follow God. As God has “gotten into my business” in every aspect of my life, I only make one choice: obedience. He is the Master, and I am the servant. I go when and where He says go and stay when He says stay. I do what He tells me to do in His Word, no matter how unpopular or counter-cultural that action might be.
Letting go of control over my own life was very difficult for me. I was deeply hurt as a child because the people in authority over me harmed me greatly. I spent decades living with the aftereffects of the evil choices of those in authority over me, so I grew into an adult determined to be in control over my own life and make my own choices. Sadly, because I did not have one healthy emotional bone in my body, making my own choices resulted in walking into one emotional pit after another after another. I was miserable when I was making my own choices for my life.
In March 2013, I finally submitted to God’s authority, which greatly simplified my life. It really did not matter what I thought about a situation because I resolved to do what the Master told me to do, regardless of how I felt about it. This freed up so much mental energy because I no longer invested my time in mulling decisions over in my head to view the possibilities from different angles. Instead, I simply did what God told me to do, which was very simple but also very difficult in my flesh. I had “starve” my flesh by focusing my energy onto doing God’s will, no matter the cost.
It was simple to forgive my abusers: I prayed for them each morning and whenever I had a negative thought about them throughout the day. It was simple to humble myself in my marriage: I deferred my preferences for those of my husband. It was simple to submit to authority: I did what I was told to do, as long as this was not in opposition to God’s Word. None of this was easy, but each choice of obedience was surprisingly simple. I knew exactly what I needed to do.
[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace frowning and saying, “Not gonna happen.” Courtesy Bitmoji.]