Continued from here.
God taught me a lot during the three months of waiting for my son’s surgery. One lesson came from Christian comedian Anthony Griffith. I saw an interview in which he discussed losing his three-year-old daughter to cancer. The response he eventually received from God about why he had to lose his daughter was, “Why not you?”
That got me thinking. Why is it OK for someone else’s child to need major surgery but not mine? Why should I be spared the same pains in life that other people experience just because I am a Christian? And rather than feel sorry for myself that my son needed major surgery, why couldn’t I focus on the blessing that I already had him in my life 5x longer than Griffith had his daughter? Why couldn’t I feel gratitude that my son doesn’t have cancer and was facing a temporary hospitalization from which he was expected to fully recover?
Another lesson came from the movie Frontier Boys. In the movie, a pastor’s son is in critical condition, and the pastor must decide whether to “pull the plug” so someone else can live through organ donation. As he faces this terrible decision, he prays to God and says, “Not my will, but Yours,” which are the same words that Jesus prayed the night before his crucifixion. Note that after Jesus prayed this prayer, God sent an angel to strengthen him.
I was again reminded that my son was not facing death. Yes, the surgery was certainly a “big deal,” but if Jesus could submit to God’s will in his circumstances (as the father did in this movie), then so could I. I started praying, “Not my will be yours” every morning and continue to do so to this day.
These were heavy lessons to learn, but at the end of the day, either I trusted God, or I did not. There was no “in between.” I kept returning to four fundamental truths about God: He loves me, He is good, He is in control, and He is with me. No matter what I face, even my only child’s major surgery, I can choose to trust God…and I did.
[Graphic: Cover for the movie, Frontier Boys. Courtesy Amazon.com.]