Grace’s Journey: Learning that My Son Needed Major Surgery

whyContinued from here.

I wasn’t home from Italy long before I faced a huge test regarding whether I would allow God to define “good” versus “bad” in my life. Within a few weeks of our return, we learned that my 15-year-old son had to have spinal fusion surgery to correct his scoliosis. This would require a 4-6 day hospital stay after the doctor screwed two titanium rods into his spine – one on each side.

My son is athletic, so you can imagine his reaction to facing major surgery on his back. Would he survive the surgery? Would he be paralyzed? I wish that no child would ever have to face hospitalization for any reason, and I wish that no parent ever had to know the pain of standing by helplessly as her child suffers.

My son’s surgeon is the head of pediatric orthopedics at a highly respected hospital, so we knew he was in good hands. However, everyone else also wanted those hands operating on their children, so we had to schedule the surgery out three months. Those were three of the longest months of our lives.

I spent a lot of time in prayer over my son’s pending surgery. Of course, I prayed that God would guide the surgeon’s hands and that the surgery would be a complete success. I also prayed for God to heal my son’s back without the need for surgery, but I felt in my spirit that God was telling me that this surgery was His will.

If this had happened a few years before, I would have spent those three months in an emotional tailspin. I would be asking why God would allow my son to need this surgery. Why couldn’t/wouldn’t He heal my son so the surgery wouldn’t be necessary? I would feel sorry for myself because my son has other issues that most kids don’t deal with, so why does he have to go through this as well?

If this had happened 10 year before, I would have been angry with God and accusing Him of “picking on me.” I would have self-righteously pointed out that I had suffered enough as a child myself – why was God always letting these painful events happen to me? Why me? Why my son?

Because I knew in the marrow of my bones that God loves me, He is good, He is in control, and He was with me every step of the way, I never went into an emotional tailspin. I was surprisingly calm for someone whose son was awaiting major surgery, and in comparison to how I used to be, I was freakishly calm. How was this possible?

Continued here.

[Graphic: Cartoon of Grace shrugging her shoulders and asking, “Why?” Courtesy Bitmoji.]


7 thoughts on “Grace’s Journey: Learning that My Son Needed Major Surgery

  1. […] leading up to my son’s surgery was to show me who to bless in that hospital. As a parent of a child undergoing major surgery, I would be in the unique position of being able to offer support to someone in the same position […]


  2. […] the other side of my son’s bullying and surgery, I can see how God worked these “bad” events for good. And in the places I have yet to see the […]


  3. […] our lives that we don’t have the resources to navigate. For example, when my then-15-year-old son had back surgery, I did not have the physical or emotional resources to take care of him. I am not a nurturer by […]


  4. […] around the house that week … and so on … Suddenly, the same person who valiantly faced down her son’s major back surgery is curled up in a ball on the floor sobbing because I can’t handle all of […]


  5. […] I managed to hold onto it last year for several weeks. However, when I learned that my son needed major back surgery, I returned to my former way of viewing my life. This time, I am determined not to lose my (twice […]


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